In the last two months I have been approached several times and asked the question, "how do I tell my partner that I want to have more sex?" It's one of those questions that can be kind of awkward to ask, mainly when it is a male partner approaching his female lover with the proposal. To receive more sex from your partner, all you have to do is sit down, have a conversation and ASK, however, there is a bit of background work you will have to do before approaching your partner with your desires, and the approach is slightly different for men and women. If you are currently sex deprived and looking for a way to boost up the boot knocking in your relationship, then pay attention to what I am about to tell you because it just may increase your love life. I'm going to first start with the women, and then finish off with advising the men.
For My Ladies
Alright, so the sex was once great, but now you consider it a holiday if you even get to the the tip of his penis. It's a quite unfortunate situation to be in, however, there is hope! Men think about sex 24/7, so the good news is that the desire is there, but there are a few things that could cause your lover to become lazy or uninterested in having sex with you. Consider these factors before submitting your demands:
- Change in his diet
- Increase in responsibilities at work
- Lack of sleep
- Deviation of his sexual attention (i.e. he may be cheating)
- STD status (maybe he has something he doesn't want to pass on)
- Change of teams (i.e. he went from team box to team thick stick) (meaning he likes men)
- Increase in his desire to explore (try new things that you may not be open to)
These are just a few factors that could play a part in why your partner has become less interested in having sex with you. In order to get to the root of the problem, you need to take time to sit down and talk about these things. Find out what his stress levels are from work, has he been sleeping and eating well. These 3 things can alter the libido and cause a dramatic drop in sexual desire. If you notice it, lend a helping hand to help him relax when he gets home...cook a good meal, give him a massage. Do what you need to do in order to keep his energy high and stress levels low. The last four factors are issues that have to be seriously discussed and worked out if any of them come to the light as being true. If your man wants to try new things, become a bit more open to giving him what he wants. Sex is not just about you. If he is cheating or has changed teams, then you might want to leave him alone all together.
While thinking about his issues, also think about the role you play. Have you lost your sex appeal? Are you lazy in bed? Do you nag him all the time? Have you stopped doing that thing with your tongue that he likes? You also play a role in why his interests have been lost so figure out where you're slacking and tighten up! After you've taken all of these issues into consideration and made the appropriate adjustments, bring your request of having more sex to your partner. Talk it out, make a schedule and initiate the sex if that's what you really want. Sometimes men need clear signals from you that you're interested
For The Fellas
All of the same issues that I stated above apply to women as well, but you must remember that they are enhanced because of the emotional aspect of women. The following issues are specific to women:
- weight gain
- lowered self esteem
- lack of attention
- lack of confidence in her abilities
With keeping these issues in mind, just like the ladies, you have to figure out what role you may be playing to turn her off from not wanting to have sex. Have you lost your sex appeal or gained weight? Do you pay more attention to your job or the game than you do her? Have you stopped giving her compliments on how beautiful she is? Once you can pinpoint where you're slacking, you then have to find a way to reduce her insecurities. If you see she's gained weight, offer to go to the gym together, give her a massage afterwards coupled with a nice bubble bath. That is one of the best ways to make a woman feel sexy and get her in the mood for loving. If you notice she hasn't been feeling confident in her sex appeal, buy her a sexy lingerie set or a curve hugging dress that she can sport while you're out to dinner. Cater to your woman so she will be more open to give you the increase in sex that you desire.
SO, what have you learned today? (1) pinpoint the issues that cause the decrease in sexual desire through self examination and one on one conversation (2) resolve the issues (3)Work on increasing the sexual session each week.
COMMUNICATE, RESOLVE AND GET IT IN...IT'S SIMPLE