Lovers, if you read last weeks entry, "The Truth About Lesbian Sex", you know one of the most important elements for any sexual relationship is the art of masturbation or mutual masturbation. There is an art to pleasuring ones self or ones partner. I believe masturbation is so important primarily because self-love is the best kind of love. I want explore five key benefits of masturbation and why it's important to know your private parts better than ANYone else.
1| Self-Awareness - Nobody should know your clitoris or g-spot better than YOU do. For women, masturbation can be achieved by stimulating the clitoris or penetrating yourself vaginally or by anal penetration with fingers or adult sex toys, such as vibrators, in order to achieve orgasm. For men, masturbation occurs with the stroke or stimulation of the penis shaft typically with the use of the hand. I would also consider the use of sex toys, such as the flesh light or anal penetration as masturbation for gay men and men, in general. Many men often include lubrication of some sort for comfort and pleasure additives. However, I'll focus on lesbians and women as we need to have healthy relationships with our vaginas by exploring our vaginas and we should be happy to do so. If you can't make yourself have an orgasm how are you going to teach anyone else how to give you an orgasm.
2| Sometimes you have to be a teacher not a student - Every lover is different! Not every sex experience with a sex partner is a good one. I know I thought all lesbians would be good at oral pleasure, but I was never more incorrect. Never assume the sex capabilities of a partner no matter how much they brag and for some reasons lesbians like to brag on their sex game. Not every person is going to be good at pleasuring their partner and if you really like that person you may have to teach your lover how to pleasure you sexually. You can only do that well if you know how to pleasure yourself.
3| Avoid STIs and a headache - The best benefit to masturbation is avoiding a sexually transmitted infection and the emotional headaches attached to having sex with someone. After all, you know who you are having sex with but you can't trust who other people may be having sex with outside of your time together even if you are in a relationship. If you haven't found a sex partner you feel comfortable with you can always pleasure yourself.
4| The Orgasms - Guaranteed Pleasure. Individually, if know how to achieve orgasm with yourself you will always be able to keep yourself afloat in the periods of sexual droughts. If you want to abstain from sex with a partner, if your partner is out of town and you need to be pleased, or if you want to get kinky and give your partner a show knowing how to make yourself cum will only enhance your sex life in EVERY way.
5| Mutual Masturbation - One of the best ways a couple can have an orgasm is at the same damn time! Mutual masturbation is when two sex partners manually pleasure the other partner simultaneously to achieve orgasm. It is also a form of foreplay and the prelude to orgasm number two. The gift in mutual masturbation is the possibility of having your orgasms together while looking deeply into your partners eyes. Again, you can involve lots of kissing and toys and have as much fun with your partner as you like. Another personal favorite.
By LGBTQ contributing writer Kat Harris