DISCLAIMER: This article is not directed towards the “good girls” who know how to secure and maintain successful relationships, but for the women within the “good girl category” who can’t seem to remain in a stable relationship. This one is for YOU!
Over the past few weeks during my LURKING through social media sites, I’ve noticed a lot of status updates, tweets and Instagram pictures stating, “These hoes are getting wifed up”, or “These hoes be winning”, and they are always dripping with an underlying disdain or bitterness from the people who post them (usually women with good morals and standards that can’t seem to keep the interest of a man). When I saw these statuses, I began to think about the number of women that I’ve known vicariously or personally while growing up that had reputations of being fast or being “hoes” that are now happily married with beautiful families, and it got me to thinking about how these women were able to achieve what so many women only dream of achieving (earning the wife title and affections of a man).
First and foremost, lets be clear: a woman that is classified as a “hoe” is not a malicious or bad spirited person, but a woman seeking love and affection like the next. Her methods of finding love and affection are often looked down upon by society because of her sexual promiscuity and what many would consider to be a “lack of moral standards”, however, through her sexual exploration and experiences with the men she encounters, she learns a lot about herself, about men and about the basics of relationships. The “hoe” doesn’t view sex as something sacred, but as a way to express her emotions and as a way to release. So for her, sex often becomes a tool to achieve what she wants.
So what can a good girl really learn from a hoe?
She can learn how to become comfortable with her sexually
Sex is a major part of intimate relationships, and one of the main reasons why men cheat in relationships is because of an incompatible sex partner. The “hoe” has taken time to learn her sexual triggers (what turns her on and off) and learn how to perform effectively to make sure every sexual experience is an amazing one. The good girl is known to have quite a few restrictions when it comes to sexual performance, but she should take notes from the “hoe” and learn how to become comfortable in sexual performance, learn how to be comfortable with being in a sexual state and viewing herself as a sexual being. Spending time in self pleasuring and using mirrors during sex is a great way to help build sexual confidence, and asking for critique is another way to improve skill. The good girl doesn’t need to practice on multiple men, just with the one she has chosen as her targeted match. When a man can see that a woman is comfortable in her sexuality and knows how to take control, it’s a turn on and it helps usher in intimacy and a bond through sexual energy.
She can learn how to get what she wants out of men
The “Hoe” knows exactly what she wants and when it comes to men, she has a clear understanding of what they want out of women and how to manipulate the situation to achieve her goals. What the “Hoe” understands in this situation is that sex is a natural human function that we all need to maintain a healthy lifestyle. The Hoe uses sex as a way to get what she wants but she makes it clear about her intentions before entering into a sexual encounter. Good girls have a tendency to keep their desires and their demands of what they want from a man hidden because they don’t want to appear too demanding or as a “gold digger”, however many good girls become doormats just going along with what a man desires instead of voicing her opinion about what she really wants. The good girl should take notes from the hoe and learn how to be direct about her intentions in a relationship and lay what she wants out on the table, but in a non aggressive way. Making sure a man understands what you expect out of him and having him understand what you want him to be to you is major. The good girl may go into a relationship thinking it’s a serious commitment, whereas the man may look at it as “Friends with benefits” or just someone to hook up with. Being confident in communicating shows a man that a woman isn’t a push over and presents a challenge in the chase that makes courting more enjoyable. After all, confidence is sexy!
She can learn how to be confident in approaching and pursuing men
When the “hoe” sees a man that she wants, she has no shame is approaching him and letting him know what’s up. The good girl is usually traditional about pursing men and waits for a man to approach her while playing hard to get to deepen the chase. While “hard to get” isn’t necessarily a bad tactic, the “hoe” understands that a man may not always have confidence to approach because there may not be signals present that show him that it is ok to make a move, or he may be intimidated. Because of this, the “hoe” will diminish the awkwardness and approach a man to ensure she has her target engaged and focused on her. The good girl will sit on the sidelines and wait because she believes women approaching men isn’t natural, but that’s an opportunity missed. The good girl needs to take a note from the “hoe” and become confident in her power and influence as a woman and go after what she wants! A man will appreciate the attention and effort especially when it comes off as sincere and non threatening.
This article wasn’t written to suggest that “good girls” go out and sleep with the neighborhood, but to learn how to become confident about their sexual abilities and knowing how to use them within their respected relationships to get what they want and create a healthy balance of intimacy and communication. Take notes from the hoe and learn to be confident and proud to be a sensual being with power to influence men and bend them to your will; just don’t abuse the power and use it to manipulate.