Opinion Piece: Why Nice Guys Lose to Assholes

So I think it is finally time for a woman to stand up and let some of the nice guys know the reasons why they often lose out to the men they would consider to be assholes. Since I have no problem with voicing the truth or my opinions, I have volunteered for the job of painting the UGLY TRUTH.I created a status last week on my Facebook page stating that some men are just as bitter about not being able to find "the right one" as some women are, and surprisingly, quite a few men stepped forward and admitted that they have become a bit course when it comes to dating. Half of them had horrible tastes left in their mouths from bad dating experiences because they were turned away for being "too nice".  It sounds like such a contradiction when a woman says that she wants a nice guy yet ends up with the douche bag at the end of the bar, and because of that, it leaves many men who would fall in the "nice" category dazed and confused. So to help you guys out and save you the embarrassment and money, here are the common mistakes that NICE guys make that turn women off:

Pretending not to want sex out of politeness when you really want it

It's one thing not to mention sex on the first date out of politeness, but to pretend as if you don't want to have sex with the woman at all just so you can get on her good side and to make yourself not seem like a dog is a foolish mistake. Every woman knows that men approach them often with sex on the brain, so don't try to deny your natural instincts and tell a woman you don't want sex from her when in the back of your mind you've already had several fantasies of her spreading eagle. The "asshole" will come out and let a woman know his instinctual desires and most of the time get the girl because, if she is already attracted to him, she has already made plans in her mind to give him the nookie anyway. You don't have to be blunt and disrespectful when it comes to what you want but don't pretend like you don't want it either!

Doing nice things with an intention to get the nookie

There have been countless numbers of times when the "nice" guy has approached me to do a number of things for me claiming to not want anything in return, but would turn around weeks later to make his demands of repayment known. There are dozens of women who go through the same scenarios with nice guys and it is the fastest way to get cursed out. If you're doing nice things for a woman in hopes of getting some sex or securing a relationship in return, you're setting yourself up for failure. It seems sneaky when say you don't want anything in return then come and recant the statement by asking for sex, and no one likes a sneak.  Courting is all about winning a woman over, but don't try to pull wool over a woman's eyes to trick her into giving you want you want. Just state what you want in the beginning and you won't have to be a trickster.

Being too clingy

Showing a woman you're interested in her is great, but to want to be under her all the time and to text or call her every hour on the hour is annoying! A woman wants to know that a man has a life of his own outside of her because women do not like needy men. A woman doesn't want to act like a mother to a grown man needing attention like a child, and she definitely wants to have her freedom to have time for herself and her girlfriends to add variety to her life. Give her some space and some time to reflect on the moments you've had because absence does make the heart grow fonder.

Being too NICE

Being a polite gentleman and keeping a woman's preferences in mind is great, but when she has everything her way and you don't show any type of aggressiveness towards making the decisions, a woman looks at you as a weakling. A woman wants a man to be a provider and a defender even if she can hold her own. It makes her feel safe and wanted when a man will go to bat for her to make decisions for the team. Don't be a pushover because all a woman will do is run you down with her six inch stilettos and bark orders at you like an Army lieutenant. Put your foot down and show her who wears the pants! Her attitude will switch up and she will begin to look at you like she never did before..most likely with desire.

Beyond these common mistakes nice guys make to turn women off, the fact of the matter is, you can be the nicest man in the world and ready to lay your life down for a woman but if she isn't attracted to you physically or sexually, you will NEVER have a relationship with her that is rooted in true attraction and desire.  I see dozens of "Nice" guys that get played regularly because they are willing to give so much of themselves to women who only care about their money or what they can buy for them. IF you are a man in that is constantly being asked for money within the first week of a woman knowing you, then you are being played like a sucker because you are the nice guy that she's not attracted to. Change up your behavior and don't be so willing to do for a woman you barely know. Give her time to show her true feelings and let her know what you want out of the relationship from the jump, but with tact. Don't seem too eager to jump into a relationship before getting to know her well and don't make yourself seem extremely needy.

The asshole wins because he is upfront and direct about what he wants and what he will and will not do, and what that does is puts the power in a woman's court in deciding what she wants to do with this man. His confidence in knowing who he is and what he wants also pinpoints him as a "take charge" kind of a guy which indicates he will make sure things are taken care of when they need to be.  The nice guy gets put into the friend category because his approach is non aggressive and non sexual. You can be a nice guy and still land the girl if you learn how to be direct about what you want and assert yourself with demure authority.