For him: How to put the “Oh” in Her Orgasm

Orgasm.  It is the most pleasurable sensation one could ever feel.  For a moment in time, our minds draw a blank and we are blissfully paired with the energy of another.  The moment lasts all of 7 seconds for men and extends to 20 seconds for women, but those few seconds of contractions and chemical rush seem like eternity as we die to ourselves. Although reaching an orgasm is the goal of sex for many, it is the lead up to the climax that matters most.  One element of the arousal period that is necessary but often overlooked is clear communication to encourage proper technique. Moaning isn't just for show, it is a form of communication to let your partner know their actions are felt and accepted.  It occurs naturally when one is being pleasured sexually, and it signifies the desire for more.  In the area of giving permission, the sound of a moan is a positive passive indicator.

One of the most common complaints I hear about sex is the lack of noise made during the act.  And I wouldn't blame women for just laying there during sex without saying a word.  Many women aren't allowing themselves to enjoy sex, because honestly it was never encouraged that they do so.  And because of this, many women aren't reaching the point of orgasm often or even at all.  It's time to change this, because if she isn't moaning, she isn't having a great time.

Now , when I speak of moaning, I don't mean the high pitched screams you hear sprinkled with profanity that you hear on your favorite flick. I'm speaking about the low, vibrating sounds that seem to come from deep within.  The moans that let's you know she's loosing herself and truly enjoying you.  That is the place every woman should be during sex in order for her to truly reach an orgasm.

So how does a man go about making his partner reach the spastic moans of an orgasm? The process is simple once you have the proper tools of communication and sexual technique.  They include:

Using foreplay

Foreplay not only extends the sexual experience but it also ushers a woman's body from a resting state to an aroused state.  Unlike men who can produce erections almost instantaneously, it takes more time for women to get out of their heads and into their bodies.  The brain is the largest sex organ, and for women our minds are our worst offenders in chasing away our orgasms. Help your lady love relax from a stressful day by creating a sensual atmosphere of safety and cater to her sexuality by using sensual touch, positive speech of adoration and affection and stimulate her erogenous zones.  Use props to dust across her body, employ sensual massage to get her juices  and blood flowing to her pelvis, use oral sex as a way to stimulate her clitoris and use kissing as a tool to arouse and communicate.  Try anything during foreplay.

Using encouraging dirty talk

Just as a coach uses encouraging speech to motivate his team, each a man can use dirty talk as a way to move his partner towards the orgasm she seeks.  Communicating during intercourse ensures that she is getting what she needs, so don't be afraid to be that voice of command.  Using confirmation phrases such as "do you like that baby", "How does my cock feel inside of you" "Do you like taking this dick" "do you want me to go deeper"...all of these phrases and ones similar help to give positive feedback about what you're doing and encourages her to speak.  Using encouraging phrases that get her deeper into the mood can help her relax into the sensations of sex.  Using phrases like: "I want you to cum for me baby", "Let out those moans" "don't hold back" "open up for me baby" all give directed permission for her to enjoy herself.  Sometimes all a woman needs is permission to open up like a flower ready to bloom.  If confidence in speaking in this way has got you tripped up, practice during a sexy phone sex conversation with your lover from another room.  It's also a great form of foreplay.

Switch sex positions

There are hundreds of sex positions that stimulate in different ways, and to ensure your partner is getting the satisfaction she deserves employing the use of at least 5 different sex positions is necessary.  Depending on the size of the penis and the shape of the vagina, certain sex positions will cause different sensations.  For men that are thinner in girth, sex positions that cause the vagina to become wider will be less effective than those that cause the vagina to narrow. Sex positions that provide clitoral stimulation along with penetration (woman on top positions) are great to use for orgasmic play, and positions that stimulate the g spot (side sex positions, spooning) are known to create intense orgasms.  Switch things up and try various positions because satisfying sex is about trying anything to see what works best.

Clitoral stimulation with penetration 

The clitoris is the organ that is solely responsible for the female orgasm, and to ignore it is to guarantee the absence of a climax for her.  Factually, the legs of the clitoris are stimulated during penetration, but it is the direct application of pressure to the exposed head of the clitoris that encourages orgasm.  By using erotic massage, clitoral vibrators or masturbation the clitoris can be stimulated to arouse sexual energy.  Try to combine this type of direct stimulation during penetration and watch her body reach the highest form of ecstasy.

Putting the Ooooh into her orgasm isn't difficult.  All it requires is a bit of effort and some thinking outside of the traditional sexual box.  Women have different sexual triggers than men and need more attention and direct contact to truly become aroused.  Give her the affection and variation she needs, talk to her, find out what she likes and keep her moaning for more orgasm after orgasm.